So I hope you all had a nice holiday. My Thursday thoughts didn’t go out because I figured who wants to hear about mindset and motivation on a day of rest and family but guess what I’m baaaaaacccckkkkkk bitcthes and its go time!
A lot of the topics that come into my brain really come from my personal struggles or conversations I have with clients. Today I am going to be completely honest with ya’ll I had a client call me today to tell me she was absolutely at her wits end and needed to get back. I asked her why and she said because I have tried everything since I took a break and nothing has worked.
Omg when people take a break I always feel its like Rachel and Ross from friends. Its funny though how we use certain smoke screens to stop us from doing the exact things we need to do in order to get what we want.
Wanna hear the biggest smoke screens I hear…
I just cant decide… This is a HUGE smoke screen,
These are all thoughts that are telling you.
- Don’t show up for yourself
- Don’t get out of your comfort zone
- Don’t change a thing its not that bad
So what I am here to tell you and what I try and tell myself a lot…
- Stop saying, I will take care of me tomorrow.
- Stop saying, after Christmas I will make time for me.
- Stop saying I just don’t know what to do.
- Stop saying its my husband, its my age, its my job.
- Stop all of it because it will keep you stuck exactly where you are.
All of that will keep you stuck and complacent. You absolutely cannot change a thing not your body, your mind, your job, your drinking, etc. if you are always tricking yourself to keep playing it safe.
I know I did that for YEARS saying…
- I’ll quit drinking after the holidays
- I’ll quit my job at the bar after the super bowl.
- I’ll get back to eating clean after my birthday.
- The list goes on…blah blah blah…
All that is is more of the same.
What you need to say…
Is I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and I need a change TODAY. I need to be prepared to fail and fail big.
I tell anyone who reaches out to me for weight loss get ready to double your failure rate with me because we are going to have epic fails that are going to change the direction of your life.
Like seriously if you want success you have to DOUBLE your failure rate and stop playing small and safe. So yes you will fall flat on your face, but you will show up and every time you do that your are one step closer to getting the results you want.
You have to start making tiny changes. One good book to help you go in the right direction and say goodbye to calorie counting, restrictive food bans, and other forced behaviors. Get a copy of Mini Habits for Weight Loss, where you will learn how to lose weight naturally, in the precise way your body and brain are meant to change.
I’ll share with you a Few quick stories…
I have a client we have been working together for about about 8 months and she lost 30 lbs. Great right? But she had more to lose. and she was at a standstill. So the process went like this. I gave her a diet because she liked to not have to think and follow it to the letter She did that for a while but then she started to add her favorite foods and it got tricky. So we went to tracking calories and macros, but then that got tricky because she later realized she was putting different things in the graph so it would look right to me, but not really following it and she came clean.
At that point we discussed food addiction and sugar, flour and bingo. She admitted she was a food addict and had to realize that both of those things (sugar and flour) sent her off to the races. So again we restructured her plan to have hard rules about sugar and flour. Man that is hard? Because once you take out the comfort of food for emotional eating and you just begin to think of food as fuel. You are like, damn I gotta lot of friggin free time on my hands and then you get all the crazy emotions that come with all of that like deprivation boredom, anger, sadness, and frustration. Good times right? But when you are ready to tackle the thing that has really been holding you back all these years it truly is life changing.
A lot of people would say that is hard but I say
- whats not hard is – getting to wear the smaller size everyday day all year in your closet
- whats not hard is – getting to wear a bathing suit
- whats not hard is – allowing someone to take your pic and not hide
- whats not hard is – rocking cute outfits
- whats not hard is – not shopping for clothes that hides your body
So you see instead of saying fuck it this isn’t working anymore she said, Lets keep failing, lets keep at it, I am not quitter and I will press forward. She is a new person now free from the bondage of sugar and she is losing again.
I share this with you all so you can see that failing is part of the process with anything you want to change. So think about that and if you need help failing I am here to catch you.
I want a good 5 failures from you all this month.
Another thing I heard from a client is this: It won’t get better. If you don’t change, it won’t get better. In fact, it will most likely get worse. That stung. I knew she was right. I was doing the same thing and expecting something different. I was only thinking about change and not DECIDING. The decision to change is scary.
My brain always thinks change is a bad idea. It always gives me reasons to stay the same. But I became tired of it staying the same or getting worse. I decided I needed better. So I took the risk to change. The decision to change made my life change.
It seems obvious now. But it wasn’t then. Are you stuck in indecision? I want to nudge you to go all in. Bet on yourself. Nothing is going to change until you do.
So decide today, I am here for you
– Yvette Salva –